


ED may stand for Emotional Dysregulation... But it doesn't have to.

by SolSermisiere



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Attempt at humour, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), ED - Freeform, Established Relationship, Levi gets cured I swear, M/M, Romance, Smut, Switching, as in erectile dysfunction, but psychological impotence being more exact, ereri, stressed Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-13 03:38:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1211203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolSermisiere/pseuds/SolSermisiere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi has a problem. A grave problem, as far as his pride and masculinity is concerned. And it just so happens that Eren has to be ten years younger than him to boot―another thing to add to the list of his dilemmas. All in all, it's simply hard to face and bare with the fact that he can't get an erection when it matters and it's killing him... His only thirty-five, dammit!</p><p> </p><p>"You know, words 'fucking' and 'impotent' hardly go together..."</p><p>"Hanji!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hello everyone! My first shot at Snk. AU. It seems that I'm so addicted to Levi/Eren that I had to write something myself. Even if I should focus on other fics... But reality is harsh and, hence, this had been created. 
> 
> Somehow this silly idea came into my mind for no particualr reason and I had to share. Hope it won't scar you ;D I just thought Levi, the usually composed Levi, in such a situation would be delightful to read about. Especially taking into account the possible age difference between him and Eren.
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy if you read it. Leave your thoughts on it. 
> 
> There's one more chapter to come.

“Levi, it's okay. Really. You don't have to beat yourself over it. I mean, I know you've been working a lot lately and you come home really late and don't even hav-”

 

“Just leave it, okay? We're not talking about it and that's final. Go to sleep. You have a morning shift tomorrow either way, right?” Levi said, his tired eyes fixed on a random spot on the carpet visible between his bare feet.

 

“Y-yeah. But...” Eren protested weakly.

 

“No buts. I'll just turn the light off, so get under the covers. I need my sleep as well.”

 

He could hear Eren's soft sigh and feel the bed shift as he obediently moved to lie down. Apparently, he decided to finally relent.

 

And at a good moment, because more of Eren's attempts at reassuring the older man and he would have done something completely uncalled for and asinine, like getting his anger out on the brat when he least deserved it.

 

Levi coaxed his heavy limbs into motion, walking across the room and switching off the lightning, letting darkness swallow him. He knew their bedroom so well, he didn't need to see to go back to bed without tripping over something along the way.

 

Gingerly, as to not disturb Eren―taking into account how unnaturally fast he could fall asleep―Levi got onto his side of the bed, feeling the mattress adapt to his weight. And while he had personally chosen all the pieces of their bedding―from the sheets to the bed itself―to ensure they were of the best quality that would allow them a satisfying good night's rest, this time around it did little to help him find himself in Morpheus' arms. Too many thoughts―unpleasant and vexing thoughts―were running through his head. He was utterly sick of them...

 

Suddenly, a warm arm sneaked its way over his naked torso, accompanied by a similarly warm leg that boldly settled itself over his bare hip. Of course it was followed by the rest of Eren's body snuggling into Levi side. Eren's naked body. Truthfully, they both weren't exactly prude and getting dressed again just to go to sleep seemed unnecessary at this point of their relationship.

 

Plus, taking the current situation into consideration, that was constantly looming over Levi's head like a stormy cloud, a naked Eren all over him didn't really have the usual implications. It's not like they were going to fuck like rabbits into the early morning hours again, making going to work a real feat. And yes, it had happened before. Though, as words of justification, it had been very early into their relationship and both of them hadn't had sex for quite some time before getting together. Well, more like Levi hadn't bothered finding anyone he could stand being so close and intimate with just to get his rocks off and Eren... Well, Eren had actually admitted to having had sex only once before Levi and with a girl to boot. So yeah... At the beginning they might have gone a bit overboard with the amount of sex they were having...

 

Going back to the present, Eren somehow managed to snuggle closer to the man than Levi thought was humanly possible. Still, after having shared the bed together so many times, Levi knew it wasn't that unusual. On average, half of the nights they spent together, Eren was clinging to him like to a lifeline. There were nights during which Levi woke Eren up to get the overly touchy brat off of him and sometimes, after a good day, let him have his way and even run his fingers through Eren's eternally messy hair.

 

Tonight wasn't preceded by a good day, however. Hence, Levi was just about to jab Eren right where he knew would hurt and wake the boy in an instant, when he was interrupted by the said person's soft, almost whispering voice.

 

Yes... Of course Eren would do something like, for once, not falling asleep the second his head touched the pillow. Leave him to choose the worst fucking moment to break a habit...

 

“Levi...”

 

Levi was fast to calculate how sensible it would have been to pretend being asleep, but he realized it wouldn't ultimately pay off. Eren knew him well enough to say Levi wasn't able to fall asleep in such a short amount of time. Plus, he was a stubborn little thing. Okay... maybe little wasn't the best of adjectives to describe someone taller than him, but still... It wasn't really important.

 

“Yes, Eren?” he asked finally, for some reason using the same hushed tone.

 

“I love you,” was the simple answer and at that moment Levi's heart made that stupid, irritable jump that only Eren was able to cause, no matter if Levi liked it or not.

 

That brat was seriously too much for Levi. Too much for a man used to being calloused and withdrawn on the surface for so long that it somehow became natural for him not to show emotions, to treat everything and everyone with a certain distance.

 

Being with Eren―how it had happened was another story all together and Levi certainly had put up quite a fight―was like becoming a new person, a better person. Not on all days, understandably, and not instantly. It was a process. Letting himself feel again. Well, more like experiencing feelings without constantly second-guessing if it was okay to do so. Also, feeling more deeply than ever before, more openly. And not only concerning Eren, but on the whole.

 

It was somehow... freeing. As if he had been granted wings to fly on. He just had to let himself enjoy it more, let himself go, and Eren was there, ready to join him.

 

But then... there were the bad days. Those when he reverted to his 'usual' self, got all introverted and snapped at people when they dared to get on his nerves; or speak at the wrong moment.

 

Today, and more than a few previous days, were, generally speaking, shitty at best. Actually, his last two _months_ could be probably compared to having to deal with a bad case of constipation. He had a lot of shit to do, but time was scarce, as being lucky enough to get some of it to himself in order to unwind. It put him on the edge.

 

Eren tried his best to help, but some things even his warm disposition and determination could not solve. And so, Levi suffered.

 

Most of the time, in such situations he preferred to suffer in silence, but often Eren didn't let him. Sometimes it turned out for the best, sometimes... not really.

 

This time, Levi was in an emotional dilemma―talk with Eren or tell him to fuck off?

 

God, he couldn't tell him to fuck off after the boy had told him 'I love you', but Levi seriously wanted to ignore his problem some more... Maybe it was best to state the truth?

 

“I know, brat, and... I love you too. Still, I don't want to talk about it.”

 

He didn't say those words very often. At least, not as often as Eren. He knew Eren realized and that was enough. He was the kind of a man who showed his affection through actions rather than words either way.

 

“I know that you know, Levi. I just wanted to remind you. And to say that I will. No matter what. You know that too, right?” Eren continued.

 

His words were simple, yet held a lot of meaning.

 

They might have made Levi feel a bit ridiculous too, because despite that reassurance, which he very much believed in, he could not walk past the fact that Eren was still ten years younger than him, had more energy than him, was often more driven than him and definitely much hornier than him. Nowadays, at least. And somehow it seemed that he could no longer keep up with him.

 

Was that it? Was it only going to get worse from that point on? He was only thirty-five, for crying out loud! How could it be possible that he... that... Well, fuck it all!

 

Ah... _but you couldn't, even if you wanted to, could you Levi?_ His subconscious taunted him, making him clench his jaw in exasperation. And it was all so real, because indeed he couldn't, looking as it was approximately the sixth time in the last three weeks that his dick didn't seem to care for co-operating with his intent to finally fuck Eren's brains out after magically having found the time to do so.

 

Were he somebody else, he could probably cry. As it was, his pride at least stopped him from bawling his eyes out in front of Eren.

 

Saint Eren, who somehow took it all with more understanding and maturity than Levi expected him to. He was convinced there would be some taunting about his old age finally catching up to him and all that. Eren, however, seemed to react with more tact than Levi gave him credit for―mostly for good reasons admittedly. It was all based on past happenings...

 

The brat didn't make such a bid deal out of it, logically stating Levi had been working too much and that it was okay to just rest if that was what his body needed.

 

But Levi couldn't be so understanding himself. Until now his body had been in top shape―he had made sure of it with keeping a balanced diet and working out. He was proud to be fit. He rarely got sick, if ever... And from all the things to betray him, it had to be his dick... And just when he had found himself in a relationship with somebody younger than him. It was simply poetic. Fucking fantastic!

 

He felt like a cripple...

 

He was not going to tell Eren all that if it killed him... And so he squeezed out a “thank you, Eren,” before making it clear it was time to sleep and nothing else.

 

* * *

 

 

The moment Levi had found himself in that room, it dawned on him what he had gotten himself into. Of his own volition, to add.

 

Maybe his brain had started rotting too?

 

But God, he sure hoped his dick was not in the process of rotting because that was a highly disturbing image he did not like entertaining... Why the fuck was he even thinking about something so ridiculous?

 

Stress. It was all the stress... Right?

 

“Soooo... You're telling me that... you can't get it up, am I right?” Hanji inquired what had to be at least the fiftieth time already.

 

“How many ways of asking about it are there? Are you really so determined to use them all? I assure you, I understood the first time and I think you did as well. This now? It's just a way of fucking reminding me how pathetic I have become. Is that some sick pleasure of yours, Hanji? Because I seriously do not appreciate it. Can you just shut the fuck up and get to the point of this meeting?” he strained through gritted teeth.

 

“But... Isn't it kind of the point? Your dick not working properly, I mean...?” they asked almost innocently. Almost. Made a huge ass difference...

 

“You're probably a minute from having your surgery destroyed. I'm well past my calm, I'm telling you!” he raised his voice.

 

And that didn't happen often. Not really. He got all cold and distant. He shouted rarely. It just showed how stressed he has gotten lately...

 

“Wow... It must have really gotten to you, Levi. Okay, okay. Well, but to be more medically accurate, I'd say what you have is an obvious case of ED, as in erectile dysfunction, or, in your case specifically, I would call it psychological impotence,” they clarified to his chagrin and he cringed at hearing the words he so painfully tried not to let himself even think about.

 

Though, he did come to them for... what? Advice? Shit... That was utterly moronic of him. Yet, they were his friend. Kinda... And for some strange reason, while it still made him feel slightly mortified to talk about it with them, talking to some strange ass doctor looking at him with poorly hidden pity was out of question. He'd rather endure Hanji's incessant bubble and taunting.

 

“Jesus... do you really have to use the word... ugh... impotence?” he grimaced again at his own words now.

 

“Well, what do you want me to say, then? Besides, you're missing the most important point. I said, 'psychological impotence', right?” they looked at him, grinning in what, to him, seemed like an inappropriate manner giving the topic at hand.

 

“Yes, yes... Whatever. So? What does it mean exactly?” he could hardly believe he dared asking for their explanation.

 

“What, you have no idea? Aren't men like... obsessed with it?”

 

“What? Impotence, you idiot? I'd say that was the last thing on my mind when my dick was actually working... What, was I supposed to google it the moment I realized during puberty what my dick can be used for aside from taking a piss?”

 

“Well, nah... just wondered. Though, actually, I guess many guys your age, you know, closing forty, start thinking about such an outcome... As in a 'what if' scenario? Trying to do everything so it didn't to happen to them...” they merrily continued.

 

“One more word, Hanji. One more word about my age... I'm fucking thirty-five! I still have five years to forty. I have been eating healthily and working out for more than a couple of years now. I still have my fucking abs. I don't even get colds! This... What's happening right now... It doesn't make any sense whatsoever... I refuse to admit that I'm... fucking impotent!” he spat the, now so hated and overused, word.

 

And Hanji had the gall to actually smirk. It made his eye twitch...

 

“You know, the words 'fucking' and 'impotent' hardly go together...”

 

“Hanji!” he growled.

 

“Sorry... I had to. But, to be truthful with you, I don't understand why you're so surprised with it. I mean... After what you had told me earlier, your answers to my questions and the blood tests that you had done earlier, it's only understandable. It's common sense, really...”

 

“Is it now?” Levi asked frustrated.

 

“Well, it is. As a doctor, not only a friend, I can tell you that many men experience the same in similar circumstances. I told you it's psychological impotence. You, my dear friend, have been simply immensely overworked and stressed. Plus, even though you say you had made a habit out of eating healthily and working out, have you seriously been doing it lately? 'Cause, even without looking at your blood work, I can see how exhausted you are. The colour of your skin, the state of the whites of your eyes, your even more than usual irritableness... I bet you've been actually neglecting yourself for quite some time, hmm? You probably haven't been sleeping and eating enough. You've been drinking too much coffee, which by the way, shows in the low level of magnesium in your organism. You probably have some unusual muscle twitches or cramps?”

 

“Ugh... Yeah,” he only had the strength to admit.

 

“You see... Your iron level is also a lot lower than it should for a guy your age and body built. As well as potassium. You've probably had a high sodium intake. Fast food, Levi? You? Really? All that combined with having a younger partner that you seem to want to please sexually at all times? That's perfect ground for ED, or as I said, PI if I were much into abbreviations. Do you need more proof? I can go on...” they almost seemed excited at the prospect.

 

Fortunately, Levi had the mind to stop them before it was too late.

 

“No, thank you. I got the gist of it,” he admitted bitterly.

 

Having it all stated boldly, looking at his last two or even more months objectively, he might have done a good number on himself... Consciously or unconsciously, it didn't even matter at the moment.

 

The thought of letting himself deteriorate to such a lousy state brought acid up his throat. He liked to think of himself as a sensible and responsible human being. But the reality check he got had told him otherwise.

 

It didn't sit well with him in the slightest.

 

He finally looked at Hanji, having been trying to ignore looking at them directly for most of the time. They were actually smiling at him in the most normal way they were capable of. He begrudgingly admitted to himself, they were a good friend to have.

 

“So... What do I do now?” he sighed in defeat.

 

“What seems obvious. Lay off the work. Well, as much of it as you can... For a couple of days at least. Find time for yourself. And then Eren. Relax. Eat what's actually good for you again. Cut down on the coffee. I'll prescribe you some additional vitamins that will give you a bit of a starting boost. Though, they won't substitute actual nutritious food. And, for the love of all that's saint, don't go thinking useless thoughts, like I know you've been doing. A good source informed me that Eren doesn't care for your age, in a negative sense. And you know it to! He's a really bright kid, reasonable when it matters most, right? He's been worried about you. Not getting any for some time wasn't _and_ isn't going to kill him or deter him from you... Besides, the more you think about desperately needing to fuck him, the more it will get you stressed and make it impossible. Chillax, as they say it... Let it happen naturally. Don't rush. Plus, I think I don't have to tell you how you can, in the meantime, have fun in the bedroom without your dick getting hard and pounding Eren into the mattress...” their eyes gleamed somewhat maniacally and Levi really didn't want to know what in particular they were thinking about.

 

“Fuck, seriously, get off that train of thought right now. Your facial expression is making me sick... And why does Armin tell you things like that? Isn't he _Eren's_ friend?” Levi felt the need to inquire.

 

“Well, that's exactly why he _did_ say it to me. He knows I'm friends with you. And as you're with Eren, me telling you how you had fucked up and how you can work it out, plus informing you when you're just agonizing over something Eren finds easily resolvable, is the best course of action,” they assured.

 

“I fucking hate the ways of grapevine... I don't need friend custody to maintain a relationship,” he insisted.

 

“Maybe you don't... maybe you do. Remind me, why are you here, exactly?” they smiled wickedly and Levi chose to not raise to the bait.

 

“Whatever, Shitty Glasses. Summing it all up, you think my condition is... curable?”

 

He didn't care anymore if it was pathetic to ask. He felt the need to be reassured right about now...

 

“Sure thing. You have regular, might I add quite extensive, check-ups, so the chance of missing something vital that could cause it is hardly probable. Which leaves it being the result of your mental and physical fatigue. Besides, based on what you said, it's not like you can't get hard at all. You did wake up hard a few times, right?”

 

Fuck them for reminding him about sharing that particular detail. As if it didn't hurt he could get it up, just not when it mattered the most. Way to look more pathetic than he already did...

 

“Yes. Yes, I fucking did. Can you stop with it already?”

 

“What? That's a perfectly legitimate question in this situation. Just checking. I'm a doctor. You don't want a half-assed diagnosis, right?”

 

“As if you could half-ass something like this... You and your perverted pleasures...”

 

“I don't see point in denying it. I'm actually glad you came for advice to me, though, and were able to share something like that. Despite all my amusing comments, I understand it wasn't an easy decision,” they added and the words actually pacified him a bit.

 

Until they went off spouting nonsense again, of course.

 

“By the way, don't you think it's an ideal opportunity to explore other aspects of your relationship with Eren? You do seem to need excuses and awful lot, don't you?” they grinned again.

 

The eye twitch came back.

 

“What on earth are you implying?” he wished he had the mind to just leave it...

 

“Well... I mean... You've been together how long? A year almost? And you've been having sex at least what? Eight months from what I know?” Levi didn't stop to point out they knew too much for his liking.

 

“And?”

 

“Well, and... you're almost always the one in control, am I right?” they carried on.

 

“Why the heck do you care? Can't you focus on your own sex life for once? Must it be mine?” he whined.

 

“It's for your own good, Levi. Admit it!”

 

“I refuse.”

 

“Fine. It's not like you need to admit it for me to enlighten you... Cutting long story short, you should let Eren fuck you for once,” they finished abruptly and Levi's body couldn't decide between trying to curl itself on it in mortification and lounging itself at Hanji to shut their ridiculous mouth once and for all.

 

In result, he was glued stiffly to his spot on the couch that has started getting more and more uncomfortable the longer he was sitting on it.

 

“Do you often spout shit before thinking it through?” he deemed necessary to ask.

 

“What? You're telling me you find the idea completely out of question, or better yet, disgusting or something similar? Personally, I think it would do good the both of you. Strengthen your relationship and the intimacy between you. And make you less grumpy, too. What, you can't imagine yourself being the one to take it up the ass? Speaking strictly from the physiological perspective, it can be really pleasurable. When done right. The benefits of the prostate and all... Eren _does_ enjoy it. Sometimes I wish I had a prostate myself. You know, just hearing about it isn't the sam-”

 

“How do you even... Jesus... Did Eren tell you that? No, wait, he wouldn't. Did _Armin_ tell you that too? Isn't it a bit too much? What's wrong with the brats nowadays? Do they need to share everything with each other? Does he even know my fucking dick size or something?”

 

“Well, I-”

 

“Shut up, Hanji! I don't really wish to be informed about that explicitly. Jesus fucking Christ! I heard too much shit today to deal with.”

 

“I just wanted to tell that Eren didn't seem to be that specific when talking with Armin; or Armin was too shy to pass it on to me. You know, it's not like he's that easy to extract information from. Not always. It does take a certain amount of cunningness and persuasion to hear all that I want to hear.”

 

“If that made it any better...” he couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes.

 

“But! Coming back to more important things, aside from all that has been stated, being taken can be a pretty good idea when you're struggling with your usual ways of going about it... Plus, not to forget that direct prostate massage could more than likely coax your dick into attention, you know?” they sent him a meaningful glance.

 

“TMI, Hanji! You're so stubborn, Shitty Glasses. Worse than Eren.”

 

“Some of us have to, Levi. For the greater good! And don't pretend being prude. As if I didn't know any better...”

 

“Yeah, whatever you say to yourself as an excuse to meddle. But, seriously. It's not like I'm not... aware of such a... possibility. It's just... I didn't exactly get around to... giving it some more thought? Ugh... Am I really telling you that?” he hid his face between his hands for a moment, trying to pretend he was somewhere else. More sane perhaps? Didn't work out well.

 

“Whom else would you be telling that? Aside from Eren, maybe. It's a good thing, tough. Talking, I mean. And changes. Trying out new things... It's not something you have to go through with immediately. You should let it digest and then maybe talk about it with Eren. You don't have to go all they way instantly too. You could start off slowly, get used to giving up more control to him. Let him finger you for starters...” they counted out possibilities as if they were talking about what to make for breakfast.

 

“Enough! That's enough. I got it from here. I'm not fucking inept. It's sick that I've let you talk about it so far... Don't brainwash me anymore to your liking. Get your kicks somewhere else.”

 

“I get it, chill down. You know, just... don't forget to tell me how it was later.”

 

“I'm leaving...”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Here's the 2nd chapter. Hope you'll enjoy it. It seems two chapters weren't going to cut it, so there's actually a third in the writing. The one with the smut ;D
> 
> Thank you so so much for your response to this little fic-all the hits, kudos and of course those who took time to comment on it. It makes me immensely glad and motivated. 
> 
> Now to reading...

Levi wasn't a man easy to intimidate. He didn't get scared easily. He was abrupt and to the point. His vocabulary, when dealing with certain people, tended to take on a harsh tone. He had, however, a problem in dealing with emotions.

 

When, for some reason, he was forced to deal with them in a way he was not used to, he found himself experiencing something he was completely unaccustomed to in usual circumstances—awkwardness. Especially when people prodded at him, tried to _read_ him as if he was a friggin' book, include themselves in his business—even when he expressed his utmost distaste at their inquiries—and, in some inexplicable way, happened to be right.

 

Levi, though, was not a puzzle needed solving. Not by people who thought their mission was to change him to their liking, or more like, up to society's standards. 'Cause in the case that the society had a problem with him, he would gladly take it on, head first. No problem.

 

The issue was, while he had little to no problem with telling most of individuals or groups 'to kindly fuck themselves off' and continuing on his preferred path, there were a few people that not only had the gall to challenge him, but also either make him capitulate or agree to a truce under certain conditions.

 

Obviously, aside from the woman from Hell itself named Hanji, and nowadays Eren—something Levi still refused to acknowledge sometimes—it was very much so his only close, male friend, Erwin.

 

A strange friendship it was, their—tentative, one that had to be carefully balanced, built on years of more or less forced camaraderie—but one that has held through the passage of time and different occurrences of life.

 

Not to mention that currently Erwin was Levi's boss... Who just so happened to demand concrete and specific information concerning the sudden need for a short period of paid vacation in the middle of expanding the company's market. After all, Levi was managing not one, but _three_ of the many important projects—how he had let himself be manoeuvred into so much workload and responsibility would be hard to believe was Erwin not the one behind it all...

 

Erwin would need a good reason to let Levi enjoy free time at such a crucial moment in their business dealings. Levi was one of the most effective workers. One of the few who didn't moan about constant overtime because of the need to be home as there were children that had to be taken care of. When he bitched it was for more work-related reasons—a deal gone bad because of an employee's negligence (or stupidity, as he liked to call it), the lack of paper in the copy machine, or occasionally mud on the floor and cobwebs on the ceiling.

 

Levi really didn't want to go into details about his sudden request, though. Maybe more than ever before, even? No amount of trust and beers drank together in the past could make him ready to share information about his sudden medical issue.

 

As if personal acceptance of the fact combined with the visit to Hanji's... and the prospect of discussing it with Eren wasn't enough of a torture.

 

Levi was sure Erwin wouldn't simply hear him out and tell him to have his, well deserved, rest. There would be talking on his part... For sure... And then he could even try prompting Levi into talking himself. And that thought was on another level of mortifying.

 

What if he lost his composure then? He felt pathetic enough as it was, without sharing his insecurities out loud with someone who looked like Captain fucking America and screamed masculinity. Plus, Erwin was actually _older_ and Levi was sure he didn't _have_ any problems with his dick—he would know from Hanji if that was the case for sure, because Erwin, unlike Levi, would not try killing her for disclosing such information to his closest friends.

 

Hence, in the light of being actually younger than Erwin, confessing to ED, even if temporary, had him cursing a litany in his head.

 

Sadly, there was no way around it most likely. Erwin was a sharp, manipulative bastard who liked to draw information out of unwilling people. That's probably why he was so good at his job; and befriended Hanji and Armin.

 

Why did all of his friends find delight in tormenting him? Why did he stomach it?

 

He should have prepared his level of defence against Erwin before he actually came to demand what was due to him...

 

“I do believe it is a perfectly sound demand, Erwin. If I were to count the number of hours I have worked after our actual closing time, you'd owe me much more than the numbers of my salary reflect and you know it. And while I realize our business isn't strictly the usual eight to five and there is a lot to do and plan in personal time, lately, it has been seriously too much. I was glad if I had more than four hours of sleep. Even my lunch time has got shorter. Do I look like a machine to you?” Levi asked and regretted those words left his mouth immediately after.

 

Yes, give Erwin more bullets to shoot at him. That was a great idea... Because being made fun of was Levi's favourite hobby...

 

“Do you really want me to answer that or was it a rhetorical question? Though, were I to use your standards, I'd say you look like shit today and that falls into organic matter more than inorganic, so...” was Erwin's amused answer.

 

Asshole.

 

“If I look like shit to your trained eye, the more reason to let me off for a few days.” Levi argued, naively hoping Erwin would let him be for once.

 

“Truthfully, Levi, the days you actually _don't_ look like shit make me more worried than anything else. They are so scarce and in between, after all... one starts imagining all kinds of scenarios that could make you look happy, relaxed and well-rested...”

 

“Are kidding right now, Erwin? Because I do hope to whatever god out there that you do. Otherwise I _may_ leave this room really happy and relaxed... after bashing your face in. I'm serious here. I don't have time for this shit! Go joke with Hanji for all I care, just leave me out of it. I want three day off at least. Five would be ideal, but I myself know it may be cutting it close...” the smaller man sighed heavily, starting to care for appearances less and less with passing minutes.

 

He could see Erwin giving him a once-over again, as if he was only now actually taking in Levi's obvious exhaustion. A silver of understanding passed his eyes and was gone just as fast.

 

“You know, that's really rare for you, Levi. I mean, this isn't the first time we had to work so hard, right? I believe you do remember how hard it was when we have been just starting... We had so many ideas and strategies. Our ambitions were high, but the initial capital far from sufficient. There was a lot we had to invest personally aside from money, certain sacrifices had been made... We were all the walking dead nearing the end. But it worked. It paid off and here we are... making it big and on our way even higher. Never once have I seen you leaving a project in somebody else's hands when in the process of finalisation. Not even for a day. Unless it had to do with another, more important project, of course. Is it only fatigue that's motivating your decision?” he raised one of his ridiculous blond eyebrows in question.

 

Curse this man and his perceptiveness; and too good memory.

 

“Why do you care, Erwin. You're going to give me those three days either way in the end. Can't you just stop asking and let me be? Would it kill you to drop it?” Levi asked resigned.

 

He just knew Erwin too good—just as Erwin him.

 

“First, I'm your friend and by definition somewhat care. Second, I do have the feeling there's something you really don't want to tell me, more so than usually, and obviously, I can't just leave that, now can I? You know that. So why won't you just tell me what it is and have it over with?” he suggested calmly and Levi was glad for his practice in keeping a straight face.

 

The scowl that threatened to guest on his face could probably mentally damage anyone who saw it from too close. Though, Erwin would just comment he looked childish and pissed Levi off even more...

 

“ _Why the fuck did I even try_...” was Levi's hushed murmur and the only indication Erwin managed to overhear it was the subtle smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

 

“Well? I'm all ears, Levi.”

 

“You do realized this is highly humiliating and I could file it as harassment in the place of work? Those are private matters you force me to disclose. A doctor's certificate should have been enough... Juts take that into later consideration...”

 

“I assure you I will, Levi. Just as you should the fact that bringing me something signed by Hanji will unavoidably lead to a discussion similar in form to the one we're having at the moment. You don't go to Hanji unless it's something you absolutely refuse to admit in front of a normal doctor lest it be revealed to the public somehow. Just like ten eight years ago wit-”

 

“If your life is precious to you, don't you dare finish that sentence! As far as I'm concerned, it had never happened. The only thing I agree with is that Hanji is by no means a 'normal' doctor.”

 

“So?” Erwin didn't let Levi change the topic for long.

 

“So...?”

 

“I were of the conviction your earlier threat was going to be fallowed by words of enlightenment?”

 

“Don't fucking sass me, Erwin. I have enough of Eren's poor attempts at it. Seriously... Ah... Whatever. Just to be clear... This right now is a 'you laugh, you die' situation. I'm serious. I don't want to talk about it, but you still make me, so at least take responsibility. I have enough words of wisdom from Hanji. So... Ah...” Levi stalled, trying to think how to say it in the least humiliating way, yet nothing in particular came to his mind.

 

Seemed, he should go about it like tearing off a band-aid.

 

Thankfully, Erwin decided to stop talking and give him a moment to brace himself.

 

“So... apparently, due to overworking myself like a maniac and lack of both sleep and food, not to forget about stress, I have a case of ED. As in erectile dysfunction. Hanji said it will pass, but I need some time to relax.” he said with the most monotone tone he could manage, attempting to sound completely unperturbed by the fact.

 

There was a moment of silence and then Erwin spoke in a similarly level manner.

 

“I think we can manage five days without you just fine.” he assured.

 

And Levi couldn't stop looking at him as if he suddenly sprouted a second head. What has just happened? He had been granted five days of paid leave and no amusing comment?

 

“I assume Eren knows?” Erwin continued after a moment, however.

 

Levi clenched his jaw.

 

“Of course he fucking knows, Erwin! What do you think? We sleep in the same bed. Also, I think he would have noticed. Especially if at least fifteen minutes of intense foreplay left me not even half-hard a good number of times... Fuck! Fuck you for making me tell you this, Erwin!” I hissed irritated and slightly mortified.

 

He didn't even ask and I was saying it anyway.

 

“Well, I guess it must be hard on you. Well, maybe that wasn't the best choice of vocabulary... It must not be easy on you?” he proposed and angered flared Levi's nostrils.

 

“I'm not speaking with either you or Hanji. Couple of moronic bastards... Fuck you both!”

 

“Wouldn't it be impossible given your situation? Plus, I believe Eren might be strongly opposed to the idea...”

 

“...”

 

If glares could kill...

 

* * *

 

 

Once home, and as Eren wasn't back from his work yet, Levi decided to first prepare them dinner he could just fast reheat once the brat was back and then focus on making a list of things to do—being organised was almost like a habit by now and would certainly be of help in his, hopefully fast, recovery. Though, food held a priority.

 

Eren was always hungry like a wolf after training his male teenage track group. He met with them three times a week and while Levi believed when the boy insisted he immensely enjoyed it, he could see it was physically demanding despite Eren's young age and fitness. Mentally, too. He had to keep up with a bunch of noisy, pubescent idiots—well, at least the noisy part he had in common with them. That could be way training and actually connecting with those boys came to Eren so naturally.

 

The only issue Levi actually had with Eren's job was his tendency to leave the after practice shower as a thing to do at home, not in the facility. It meant Eren came back sweaty and more than often covered in dust and grime from the track he has always insisted he run around with all the boys under his charge. It wasn't that bad a facility so why they couldn't make the track from something less filthy was beyond him...

 

In the end, though, he could thank Eren's current job for his nicely shaped body, so... It somehow balanced out with the negatives. Not that Levi was after Eren for his physique only, but... it was undeniably a plus. He saw no sense in denying.

 

While letting his thoughts wander, Levi cooked curry with chicken, sweet potatoes, lentil and tomatoes. Both him and Eren had a thing for curry and they ate different versions of it sometimes as often as three times a week.

 

Well, when Levi actually took the time to eat, as it has been quite some time since he ate together with Eren without a rush.

 

The curry was left under some tinfoil to protect the heat and Levi made himself comfortable at the dinner table to write down the things he wanted to do in the next five days.

 

It actually took a moment to think of anything more concrete that 'eat' and 'sleep', he was so used to being constantly occupied. Ultimately, however, ideas started to come once he let his mind run more freely.

 

First, probably as he has been recently cooking, Levi made a menu he wanted to try out, be it at home, or maybe even in a restaurant, as they would finally have some time to go out with Eren... Then he wrote down two films he wished to watch with Eren in the evenings, most likely, yet had no occasion to do so before. As far as his own well-being came, Levi planned to take a long, relaxing bath each day of his sudden vacation. Preferably with relaxing lavender salts—he didn't care how feminine it sounded, the feeling of water and the smell of lavender did wonders for his nerves...

 

Somehow, unfortunately, somewhere along the line his list started reminding him of what would have been the next point had he not suffered from this damned condition... Because, really? Dinner, then films and finally a bath... of course sex would be an ideal finale.

 

Levi's life was far from ideal, however. No sex for him—or Eren for that matter. Well, not in the form he would have liked them to have it...

 

That particular realization, when he had let himself have it, made him a bit flabbergasted for a few reasons. Why? Because, strangely enough, thinking about the lack of the possibility to fuck Eren hurt him more than actually not being able to do it in the physical sense. As in, the lack of choice was more of a blow than anything else. Levi craved being able to decide for himself...

 

Obviously, it would be a downright lie to say he wouldn't miss taking Eren—after all, it was a glorious experience, both physically and mentally—however, it's not like they had penetrative sex all the time. There were many times it was simply too bothersome to go for it, taking the preparation into account—plus, while Levi was sure Eren enjoyed having anal sex, there were days it would be too taxing to do it even for someone as young like him, especially after an especially busy day at the track—so they just opted with Eren for other sexual activities, satisfying all the same. Levi wasn't that fond of agreeing with Hanji, yet he had to in this aspect. Trying out new things in bed was exciting for both of Eren and him and not all of them included a different position to fuck Eren in. Definitely not.

 

And that got his mind on the track of something else Hanji had mentioned. To be truthful, it left Levi feeling somewhat... anxious. Bottoming was, as he had said to his friend, an idea he didn't give much thought into. Eren had never complained about his position while penetrative sex was concerned. Neither had he expressed a wish to try changing it. And so, until now, it has always been Levi as the so called 'top'.

 

Why did the thought of letting Eren take him awoke uncertainty in Levi? Well, the man had obviously no previous experience in that position; nor Eren as a 'top' for that matter. The unknown had Levi apprehensive. He didn't really care about any possible pain, it wasn't it... Just... The vulnerability he would surely feel was worse than anything else. Levi, his past a great reason behind it, hated being in that state of mind. Letting Eren take so much control over him, allowing the boy to see him experience something so new to Levi, while the man couldn't be sure of his reactions, emotions that would follow them... it made Levi tense.

 

After more than eight months of being in a relationship with Eren, and knowing him for even longer, Levi _did_ trust Eren. He loved that brat! But... letting go completely of insecurities, habits and past fears—that he barely came back to nowadays and hugely thanks to Eren nonetheless—was immensely hard. It would be a huge step for Levi—a milestone in his relationship with Eren, in his life as such.

 

Actually, letting his guard down wasn't easy even when he took a conscious effort to do so when he wanted to become closer to Eren. If not for Eren's initial determination, they probably wouldn't have got together.

 

Lately, it _has_ become much easier. But it wasn't a complete success, so to call it. Partially, he wanted it and partially not. But maybe it would get harder the longer he waited? Maybe he should just do it instead of walking around it on his toes?

 

He knew Eren would take care of him, appreciate it even. And while he had no actual experience in being a top, he had been a bottom for quite some time. He obviously would have certain knowledge based on it—what could feel good and bad, uncomfortable and comfortable. Sure, it varied from a person, but... Yeah...

 

Levi had a hard time visualising himself getting... getting fucked by Eren. All the things that Eren would do to him, how and where he would touch him... How it would actually feel being... filled by him. Though... aside of uncertainty, those thoughts kind of... aroused him. They didn't make him pop a hard-on in an instant, but they did make the room feel slightly hotter and a certain tingling awoke in his body. He was intrigued to say the least, about that reaction of his.

 

It was... promising. It made him think he could do it—try it at least.

 

Ah, but that meant talking with Eren about it was inevitable.

 

And as if the boy had sensed it, at that moment Levi heard the front door opening—their entrance hall, living room and kitchen one big space—and was greeted by Eren's warm voice.

 

“I'm back! Hope there's something in the fridge, 'cause I'm positively starving!” he announced.

 

He didn't sound tired. Maybe the training was more stationary this time around?

Levi lifted his head from above the notebook he had been writing in until losing himself in his thoughts and gave Eren a look. It was known as 'the look' by now and Eren knew what it meant without Levi having to say anything.

 

When their eyes met, the younger smiled widely, mirth dancing in his green-blue eyes.

 

“Don't worry, I know. Shoes off and I'm heading straight for the shower and throwing everything into the washing machine without stalling. Though, can you make me some iced green tea in the meantime? It would be a great pick me up... Oh, and a sandwich sounds heavenly if you were to ask me. Though, if you're too tired tea is just fine. I'm not picky.” he reassured.

 

“It's okay. I actually finished earlier today for once and dinner is ready too. I'll just reheat it for us, so we can eat together. It's been quite some time since we've done this, hmm?” Levi hummed lightly, swiftly jumping off the stool and moving to turn the heat under the curry on.

 

“Wow, seriously? That's... a great surprise. Then, I won't take too long in the shower. Don't start eating without me.” Eren said and made a beeline for the bathroom.

 

Levi smiled under his nose, busying himself with preparing the iced green tea. Eren was often so easy to please and his joy and appreciation for even the smallest of Levi's gestures towards the boy was fast visible on his face. It was one of the aspects he loved dearly about Eren—he was so different that Levi in his honest reactions, not trying to suppress them if there was no apparent need for it. It was refreshing, eye-opening and simply lovely.

 

Thinking that made Levi feel a bit mushy, but he could deal with it.

 

By the time Eren freshened himself up, Levi had the curry and steaming rice on the table, along with the tea and needed silverware. The older man could see Eren's eyes lighten up at the meal. Only the loud rumbling from his stomach was a more obvious clue of his hunger.

 

“Levi, you made curry! Oh my god... You do know I love you, right?” he said laughingly and, before sitting next to him on the corner of the table, kissed him lightly, but affectionately. He knew better than do it while being covered in sweat and grime, but otherwise, it became almost a natural greeting to them.

 

Levi smiled into the kiss, the smell of Eren's freshly showered body invading his nostrils. The oceanic scent of his body wash combined with the subtle undertone of his own scent was as always addicting. Though, it was time to eat, not to breathe Eren in like a maniac, so he let them part and sit in their rightful places.

 

Eren was fast to dig in, as usual, but once his first hunger sad been settled, he slowed down and conversed with Levi without spitting all over the table.

 

“So? What's the big occasion?” he asked first.

 

“What do you mean?” Levi raised one of his brows in question.

 

“Well, you're home _early_. You _have time_ to make _and_ eat dinner with me. I'd say it's pretty much amazing, seeing as the past two months have been more than hectic for you. You barely had time to sleep, not to mention spend it with me.” he cleared up.

 

“Eren...” Levi interjected, but Eren didn't let him finish.

 

“No, no, no... Don't misunderstand me! I'm not complaining or anything. I know your work is important to you and that you're expanding your company right now and all that. I get it. But, it started getting a bit worrying, how you... ugh... well, actually neglected your health because of that. You're obviously an adult and it was your decision so I didn't interfere much aside from, hopefully, trying to be supportive. Still, you gradually started looking more and more worn out and...” he left the sentence hanging.

 

“What? I look like shit now, is that what you wanted to say?” Levi asked and it came out more biting that he had intended it to.

 

It made Eren bite his lip in apprehension. He probably didn't want to make Levi feel bad. The brat was simply concerned.

 

“I wouldn't have used those particular words, but, to be truthful, yeah... Lately, you have been looking almost ready to drop and go to a week of sleep. Is your work schedule going to get less packed from now on or is today an exception?”

 

Ah, now _that_ was the moment Levi should reveal his cards? Though, Eren would certainly ask for the reason behind this sudden development and Levi didn't want to lie about _why_ he got time off work... It was nerve wrecking. Levi wasn't a coward, however. No more running from the subject. It was unavoidable either way...

 

“It's not an exception. Not really. In fact, excluding today, I'm five days on paid leave from work. It should be long enough to get a hold of myself and start getting better, I guess. And spend some time with you, Eren.” Levi announced.

 

Initial shock was replaced by happiness on Eren's face. He almost bounced from excitement in his chair. Levi's last sentence must have been a good thing to say.

 

“I'm so glad, Levi! I think you really need it. Also, I've missed you lately. I've missed having our sweet time together cooking, watching films and you know, just, fooling around in general... Even falling asleep without you in the bed was harder than usual.” the boy admitted, only with the slightest bit of coy.

 

Sometimes, Eren could say all the right words to make Levi's heart miss a beat. Cheeky little bastard. Levi maybe wasn't all that romantic and didn't need Eren remembering about stuff like their one hundredth day and whatnot, however, being reminded in different ways that Eren needed him, wanted him, missed him... that his absence was notable and unwanted, it meant everything.

 

There was little he could reply to that. It also made him realize he felt the same way.

 

“Well, you weren't alone, brat, 'cause I've missed you too. Somehow... And I intend to make up for it, so better be ready to sit in my boring company those five days.” Levi couldn't stop himself from ruffling Eren's messy and still damp hair.

 

The boy, though, didn't let him withdraw his hand and caught it in his, bringing it slowly to his lips. He made sure Levi was looking at him when he delicately mouthed the inside of his wrist and then followed to the inside of his palm, hot and moist breath making Levi's skin tingle. It was more than pleasant. Such a small touch...

 

To his dismay, Levi gulped audibly at that intimate action. It made his mind wander into places... Certain places that meant uncomfortable discussions instead of passionate love making.

 

Eren must have noticed the shift in atmosphere, because he left one last kiss at the centre of Levi's palm and released it. His eye's stayed fixed at his older lover, however.

 

Eren was attuned to changes in Levi's moods.

 

“What's wrong, Levi?” he softly inquired.

 

Levi wanted to say it was nothing; to dismiss Eren and maybe watch a film as it seemed they both were thinking about it, but he couldn't. Not this time. Not again...

 

“I've been to Hanji...” he decided to start tentatively.

 

“Oh?” Eren seemed genuinely surprised, which meant, fortunately, Hanji had kept her mouth shut. “She's usually the one to seek you out. Why did you? Is that to do with your free time?” Eren connected the dots.

 

“Yeah. She... gave me an actual doctor's note and all. Formally, I'm on sick leave... I had some blood tests done and all. She said I've seriously overworked myself and prescribed me some vitamins. I... didn't pay enough attention to myself to notice how bad I've been feeling, I guess...” Levi admitted, albeit reluctantly.

 

Eren could have said “I told you so”, probably, but restrained from it. Levi did hear him sigh, though.

 

“Well, It's good you did go to her in the end, instead of making me drag your unconscious ass to the hospital.” was his comment.

 

Could have been worse...

 

“Whatever, brat. You didn't have to, so hold your horses... Sorry for making you worry.” he decided to add at the end and he was glad he did. It made Eren's smile softer.

 

“It's okay. Just... try not to make the same mistake twice, okay? I prefer you lively.”

 

It was a simple remark, mostly about his health as such, but in Levi's head it had all kind of implications. It made him cringe before he could stop himself.

 

Unfortunately, Eren caught on it.

 

“What? What is it? Was it something I sa-” Eren started saying and stopped.

 

Levi could see when he understood what had caused Levi's grimace. Eren's expression immediately morphed into hesitancy—should he put it out in the open or pretend he didn't get it?

 

Levi couldn't bare it. It was stupid and pointless. As he had though, going over with it was the only solution.

 

“Yes, it made us both think of the same damned thing, Eren. No point in denying when it's obvious. I fucking hate it, but hating it and denying, or rather, avoiding it won't make it less true, so... yeah. I figured we should talk. Actually, I've figured we should talk before your little comment, just couldn't decide on the moment so, maybe it's even better that way? Truth be told, I visited Hanji exactly because of that reason. 'Cause I couldn't deny it anymore and actually... ugh... got a little scared? Guess men tend to do that when their dick stops fucking listening to them...” he wanted to speak in the same composed and monotone way as with Erwin, yet it wasn't so easy.

 

Erwin was his friend, sure, it was embarrassing then and it was embarrassing now, but... it was different. He wasn't in a relationship with Erwin. He obviously didn't have sex with Erwin. Even more importantly, Eren simply mattered more to Levi than Erwin did. His opinion on that particular matter was also more important. If it went bad, Levi would be not only mortified and pissed off, but devastated emotionally at the same time.

 

It was hard to admit it as well...

 

Because of that Levi was compelled to find Eren's gaze and wait for his next words. If they ever came, as he went silent all of a sudden.

 

Levi let the silence stretch, him and Eren looking at each other, until finally the brat decided to find his tongue again.

 

“W-what did she have to say?”

 

Was that... a hint of fear he could hear in Eren's voice? Why? Was he afraid Levi could never get hard again or something? Now that would be fucking priceless in the worst of ways...

 

“She said I have...” and here Levi thought what sounded less horrible—erectile dysfunction or psychological impotence—but both didn't sit well with him and he resigned from trying to keep some of his face. “erectile dysfunction. But it's psychological, mostly. Bullshit, though. Most important is the fact she said it's going to pass. I don't care for much else...” he finished in a rush.

 

He had to give his hardest not to look away from Eren's searching eyes. They didn't seem judging, though. There was no ridicule or disgust there. How could it be? It was Eren...

 

Levi was stupid.

 

“So... It's not anything dangerous? You're not seriously ill, right? You're going to be okay?” Eren asked fast, obviously to make sure Levi's health wasn't in a great threat. It eased Levi's worries by at least a half.

 

“Yeah. I'm going to be fine. I just need to rest to get my strength back; sleep, eat healthily again, take my vitamins, cut down on the coffee... and the stress. Apparently stress is a great factor. She told me I went overboard and that's why my organism rebelled against me.”

 

Suddenly there was a smirk on Eren's face. Levi didn't like it.

 

“So, in other words, it's a good thing your dick has decided to protest? If it was something else, like your stomach, you probably wouldn't have reacted until actually collapsing, huh? It's as if you were thinking with your dick instead of your head in a way, don't you think? Your priorities are all fucked up, Levi!” he announced almost merrily and Levi bit his tongue, somewhat taken aback by the brat's stupid, but bold statement.

 

“Shut up! That's not something you laugh at, you little shit!” the older man slapped the back of Eren's head, though, he didn't really put much strength into it.

 

“What was that for! It was all true anyway! You just don't want to admit it!” Eren laughed, rubbing his head.

 

Levi rolled his eyes dramatically, but a smile threatened to tug at his lips.

 

Seriously, it went much better that he anticipated. He was glad he had finally found the guts to talk about it, or it would still eat at him.

 

“And I won't. That's that.”

 

Suddenly Eren bent over in his seat and planted a short kiss on Levi's half-opened lips.

 

“Thank you for telling me, Levi. I know it couldn't be easy. Hell, If I had a problem like that, I would completely panic, most likely...”

 

Levi paid Eren back with a similar kiss to his temple and decided to be more open with his lover. He deserved it for being so understanding.

 

“Truthfully, I think I didn't panic just because I was in too much shock. You know, I'm not sixty, but thirty-five... Plus, I had so many things to do aside from worrying about additional stuff, and of that calibre. Not to mention, I... was afraid of your reaction. You're ten years younger, have so much energy... We both like sex and suddenly I can't get it up and you're there to witness it... If you acted in a different way, I might have lost it. But you were... _are_ so... Eren... Thank you. It means a lot.” Levi managed to squeeze out of his throat when, suddenly, a wave of emotions rushed through him.

 

Normally he didn't act in such a manner, but he was so overwhelmed that it just needed to find an outlet and formed into words.

 

“You don't have to thank me. I signed up for it when I wanted us to get together. I care because I want to. Besides, it's not like your penis is the most important factor in holding our relationship together, you know? Don't flatter yourself like that.” Eren mocked.

 

“Oh, so it doesn't? What does then, 'cause, aside from the last two months or so, I thought my dick did a pretty good job out of keeping you at my side.”

 

“Well, If I were to say, your hands feel rather heavenly on me. Not to forget your lips. And your tongue. The things you can do with your tongue...” Eren almost turned the last words into a low moan and at this point Levi couldn't tell if it was still part of the joke, or a real reaction to Eren recollecting the thoughts about their intimate moments together.

 

It made Levi's heart beat faster.

 

It also made him remember about his earlier reflexions. About, this time, Eren making more use than usual of his tongue and hands on Levi. And his dick.

 

His throat suddenly felt dry.

 

Because Eren didn't deny or try hiding his sexual attraction to Levi. He was open about it. He enjoyed it and wasn't ashamed or afraid of it. He trusted Levi and exposed himself in front of the man completely.

 

Wasn't it time for Levi to do the same?

 

“Eren... Wouldn't you... Wouldn't you want to show me how it feels?” he rasped out, his voice and gaze twice as intense as a moment ago.

 

Eren frowned for a few seconds and then it must have clicked in his head, because his eyes took on the same intense heat as Levi's, even if hinted with uncertainty.

 

“You... You would really want me to...?” he didn't finish, his moist tongue darting out to lick his lips.

 

“I want you to show me how it feels to be taken. I want to feel you and your passion. I want you to make love to me.”

 

Somehow, even though they didn't move much, they seemed to be closer to each other—Eren's heat entering his personal space, hinting at the possibilities hidden behind those words.

 

“And... you'd let me? Levi?” Eren breathed out.

 

“I would. I want to. I really want to let you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it is. The final chapter.
> 
> Truthfully, it's full of smut (emotional, but still smut), quite descriptive at that-hence the E rating-so if you don't like that kind of thing... half of it won't be to your liking. Just warning. I was struggling a bit when writing it, but hope it came out okay. It's hard to balance it between not being verly mushy and too detached sometimes.
> 
> Thank you again for the lovely comments and all the kudos and bookmarks. They made me happy like mad :D Hope you'll enjoy it till the end.

After Levi's unexpected confession there was first momentary silence, both men just intensely looking at each other, only to find themselves next in a blur of motion, trying to get as close to each other as possible in the shortest span of time.

 

Miraculously, without falling over, they ended up with Levi straddling Eren who sat in one of the chairs. Eren's hands were fast to cling onto the older man's hips, thumbs delving under the material of Levi's slacks to caress his hipbones in a circular motion. However, when the boy's fingers were delicate and slow in their teasing, his lips sought out Levi's with fervour.

 

Eren wasn't shy, boldly tracing Levi's lover lip with his hot tongue and tugging at it with his teeth lightly, coaxing his lover into a passionate kiss. When he sucked at Levi's tongue sensually, it made the shorter male clutch at Eren's back through the t-shirt he had put on after his shower.

 

Levi's crisp grey shirt has been unfastened, revealing his chest and stomach, Eren trying to push it off his shoulders without breaking their kiss. Levi, meanwhile, slid his palms under the thin cotton of his lover's t-shirt, onto his broad back, kneading the tight muscle there.

 

Eren was usually intense, losing himself in their love making, yet Levi rarely let himself act purely on instinct, without thinking about his next action—it had happened maybe twice before when he had had sex with Eren. But now his thoughts were a jumbled mess, focusing mainly on the feeling of Eren's hands and lips on his skin. Only when the boy moved to unfasten Levi's trousers did he realize what was happening and where it was all going at such a fast pace—it seemed that nowadays the brat held more power and could cloud Levi's judgement easier than in the past.

 

It was hardly what he had in mind when he had thought about it before. It was a delicate topic for him and rushing probably wasn't the wisest thing to do, as it would certainly backfire changing it in the end into an unpleasant, awkward memory.

 

He didn't think he could just jump into it spontaneously without regretting it later on. There were things he ought to say and make clear first. Things he needed to do before actually allowing Eren anywhere near his ass.

 

And so, finally finding back some of his composure, Levi stopped Eren's hand that was about to tug his zip down by clasping it in his own and squeezing lightly.

 

Levi licked his lips before speaking, his voice thankfully not wavering, but with a hint of hoarseness to it.

 

“Eren... Eren, stop for a moment.” he pleaded.

 

The boy bit his lips, but nodded slowly and squeezed Levi's hand back in acknowledgement.

 

“Do you... Did you change your mind? I'm sorry if I scared you by rushing. It's just... We haven't spent much time together lately and I got a bit overexcited. And your words... Wow...” he laughed and his voice shook a bit, as if he was still shocked and uncertain of what had exactly ensued a moment ago.

 

Levi felt similarly. It was the right time to talk, even if it meant some of Levi's insecurities coming into light. Eren should know what he was in for, for both his and Levi's sake.

 

“It's... First, you didn't _scare_ me, brat. And second, I... didn't change my mind about what I've said. We're just going to fucking fast. Though, it's not like you were the only one rushing for a moment there...” he admitted in a low tone. “Truth be told, Eren, I _do_ want you, but at the same time, I'm a bit... apprehensive? I've always been the one fucking you and, somehow, we haven't talked about it, but... I haven't really bottomed before.”

 

Well, here it was, out in the open. Levi knew it was nothing to be ashamed of—that would be stupid of him—however, admitting to lacking any experience in that department wasn't easy for a man like Levi. More so, because it meant he didn't want it with anyone before, didn't care for anyone enough to even consider letting them take him, but now, with Eren, it was different.

 

“Oh?” was Eren's initial reaction.

 

“Is that everything you have to say? Really, Eren?”

 

The boy rolled his eyes only.

 

“What did you expect, then? Applause? Congratulations for living through your thirty-five years without knowing the pleasure of bottoming?” he asked sarcastically. “I was simply a bit surprised, is that a crime? Though, when I think about it more, I shouldn't really be all that astonished, huh?” he added, leaning in and planting a kiss at the tip of Levi's nose.

 

It made the older man wrinkle his brows.

 

What was this brat thinking?

 

“What's that supposed to mean, exactly?”

 

“Well, you don't trust people easily. Don't let anyone close if it's not on your rules most of the time. You're used to having control. You're lucky I'm a stubborn little shit, right?” Eren smiled brightly and Levi shook his head in wonder.

 

Sometimes he forgot how right on the spot Eren could be.

 

“Yeah, you're right, brat. I'm lucky you're a bit of an oddball.” he didn't even try hiding the affection in his voice this time.

 

“Mhm, guess we're made for each other.” Eren confirmed. “So....?”

 

“So...? What?” Levi asked.

 

“Well, weren't you going to continue the topic? Or did you inform me about still being an ass virgin for no particular reason?” the boy mocked.

 

“Little shit! Watch your words or it's going to stay that way!” he warned, though, he was sure they both knew it was an empty threat at that point.

 

“Sure thing, Levi.” Eren assured, laughing under his nose.

 

Levi sighed and took a deep breath, ready to steer their conversation clear of the jokes. He needed it to be serious. Not too serious, it would be unbearably awkward, but he wanted Eren to focus completely on what he was going to say.

 

“Great... You pointed out yourself I didn't tell you about me having never bottomed before for no reason. I guess you already know it all from personal experience, seeing as I've... been your first guy, but I'll say it either way. I haven't thought about bottoming until only recently and, when I say I haven't, it also means nobody has been closer to my ass than groping it, I guess.” Levi felt the need to clarify.

 

His confession made Eren cock his head to the side, his expression thoughtful.

 

“Though, what about the full body massage I had once given you? It included your ass quite extensively. You call it groping? Groping and massaging aren't the same! Or... was I that lousy?” he looked as if he could seriously been considering it to be true.

 

It was almost adorable to look at. Levi couldn't let himself get distracted, though.

 

“Yeah, you haven't put anything up my ass though, now have you? Because that's what I'm getting at here...” Levi explained in his monotone.

 

“Ugh... Okay. Fair point. But... You're gay. You've realized that since you were thirteen, right? At least that's what you said. So, haven't you ever, you know... fingered yourself? Weren't you curious?” Eren asked, evidently interested in the answer.

 

The question was a normal one, obvious even, given the situation and the topic of their conversation. Still, it somehow managed to take Levi by surprise. Maybe not the question itself, but that Eren was asking it so easily, clearly curious about the answer himself.

 

Could it be that the brat had actually considered switching their positions before? Was he that interested in Levi's sexual past?

 

They had talked about sex on different occasions. It was only natural. After all, Levi had also been Eren's first male lover. Who else would Eren ask about things concerning gay sex if not Levi who had previous experience with it and was his partner? The boy himself had explained he'd rather have information from a more reliable source than only the Internet. Even if Levi had knowledge, while not familiar with some of the things physically—not that Eren knew exactly at that time which words were words of personal experience.

 

Most of their talk had been pointers, however—Levi explaining the basics and mechanics, the utter necessity of lube and preparation, not to forget about obvious hygiene and etiquette, like making sure about being clean in all the important places and the best way of going about it all.

 

It had been a bit embarrassing at the beginning, more so for Eren whose ears, Levi remembered, had become an interesting hue of red at his mention of things like trimming or shaving pubic hair and occasional usefulness of enemas.

 

All in all, Eren didn't really ask about the details of Levi's sexual escapades, aside from inquiring if Levi had ever found any woman attractive and if he had slept with one, or if there was anything sexual that he would never ever want to try or was adamant on trying out with Eren—somehow, Levi bottoming indeed haven't been touched upon.

 

Apparently, there were things Eren would ask if the occasion and atmosphere were right. It was something to keep in mind and explore later on.

 

“I... might have been curious at some point, I suppose, but somehow didn't get to do it. Other sexual activities seemed more appealing and I had only considered myself to be the one doing the fucking, not the other way round for obvious reasons. Plus, it's simply too messy. I can put a condom on my dick if I don't want to clean my mess later on, but with finger fucking there's lube... It gets sticky and you have to clean your ass later on. Seriously, doing it to myself and seeing if it is worth it, it's too much trouble. At least, that what I've been thinking...”

 

Eren raised one of his brows. Did saying that offend him somehow? Potentially it could, as Eren had been fingered multiple times by Levi and, probably, had done so himself on occasions. But that was the truth and he had seen no point in laying. Each to his own, after all. All people had preferences.

 

“You're not thinking that now, though?” Eren asked simply, but in a lower tone, and it almost made Levi squirm. Eren would feel it, however—his lap still Levi's seat—so the man stopped himself with sheer determination.

 

“Well... I still don't think I would just go and finger myself if I were to masturbate, but... if you were to do it to me... and then more... Let's say I re-evaluated some of my views.” Levi admitted, punctuating his confession with a bite to Eren's ear, noticing with self-satisfaction the unmasked shiver that went through the boy's body underneath him.

 

“You're such a tease! I want to touch you so bad right now... It's almost funny how eager I am. I... might have had a few fleeting thoughts about, you know, fucking you, but... I have never entertained it for long. I was, still am, satisfied with our sex life as it was. Though, now that you've planted the seed and I know you'd want me to take you, to try... It's driving me crazy!” Eren whined almost, his hands squeezing Levi's hips again.

 

It might have been Levi's imagination, but the boy started feeling hotter. Levi could still see lust in his bright eyes. There was no way he would back away now... He felt... anticipation, all of a sudden.

 

“Eren... Oh, god... You're making me lose my fucking composure too early on in the game...” he breathed out, nipping the skin under Eren's ear. “I want you today—the sooner the better. So, right now, you're going out to buy unscented lube and condoms, while I'll make sure I'm as clean as humanly possible. Is that clear?” Levi rasped out.

 

“Just... O-okay. Ugh... Don't we have lube and condoms already?” the boy asked somewhat dazedly.

 

“We do. You should remember the best... Strawberry scented lube that you had insisted we buy to try it out, 'cause it could be fun if my cock tasted like fruit when you sucked me off...' Brat... Plus, we have the heating condoms someone had _also_ insisted we purchase. All the normal stuff is used up, because the strawberry tasted too artificial and the condoms turned out to be rather unpleasant in practice. And we didn't need to buy any lately for reasons I'd rather not mention again right now. Thankfully, you can still fuck me, even if I won't get hard, so it's not so tragic...” Levi said the last sentence more to himself than Eren, but the boy obviously heard him and looked slightly mortified at the prospect.

 

“Levi... I don't think we should do it if it doesn't feel good for you. I don't want to be selfish and just fuck you while you get nothing out of it.”

 

“Are you a dimwit? Obviously it would be different, but not being hard doesn't mean I would get no pleasure out of it. Doesn't it feel good when we kiss, or when I caress your body? Don't you feel good when I finger you even before you come? Don't think about it now and just go buy the stuff before I really change my mind, Eren.” Levi said, giving Eren no place to argue.

 

Of course, internally, the possibility of his ED hindering their experience made him anxious on a certain level. But his words spoken to Eren were true. It could still feel good even if he couldn't get hard. Aside from that, he wanted to do it also for the mental aspect of it, not only to get off if that was possible, just like Hanji had said.

 

“Okay. I trust you'll say if something is wrong when the time comes. By the way, the strawberry lube is perfectly fine as far as you don't use it for oral. It's water based and all. You're just picky. Though, the condoms were a mistake. I don't want anything tingly like that near my ass again...” he cringed at the memory and Levi almost laughed.

 

“Well, sorry but I refuse to smell like strawberries, all parts of my body included.”

 

“Tsk, and what do you expect to smell like? Febreze?”

 

“Like nothing in particular, preferably, brat. Now go, or you're really going to kill all of my willingness. Take my card, by the way, so you won't have to think about economizing, as you tend to do when you shop by yourself. Buy the good stuff. You know what I always choose. I don't want a rash or something worse...” he looked at Eren who seemed torn between the need to argue that he was by no means stingy and simply leaving to be able to fuck Levi faster.

 

Levi decided he should give him an answer in another form. He smiled slyly and lowered himself to Eren's ear to murmur, “Who knows, when you come back, you may find me completely naked on our bed, all eager and ready for you. You don't want me to start without you, right, Eren?” he whispered and accentuated his teasing words with a suck just under Eren's jaw—one that would most likely bruise.

 

Eren had a thing for biting and marking...

 

He smiled when he felt his lover stifle a moan, his dick half-hard now under Levi's ass.

 

“Fuck! Levi... You're going to kill me before we even start anything. I'm going... Just... That picture you painted in my head? You should take responsibility for it. Now I'll have to walk half-hard to the shop...” he groaned and lifted Levi, so he could stand.

 

Despite his arousal, he was fast to take Levi's wallet from where he knew it was left by its owner, throw on a long jacket despite the rather hot temperature outside and jog out.

 

To his surprise, Levi found himself half-hard as well after a look towards his crotch. It was indeed promising, but he didn't want to jinx it. His dick would definitely become soft in the time Eren was gone. Especially, as he had to actually prepare himself for the deed and the prospect was sort of daunting.

 

There was no walking around it, though. Some things had to be done. Besides, he at least had all of the theoretical knowledge. And changing his mind was the last thing he wanted. Eren always had to do it when they had penetrative sex—being sure one was clean was the obvious step.

 

And so, with determination, Levi strutted to their bathroom. At least a shower would ease some of the tension in his muscles. Truth be told, it would be the wisest to wait until he had all of his energy back, but... right now, he didn't want to. Adrenaline has already started coursing through his body at the thought of Eren touching him where no one else had. He had decided.

 

* * *

 

 

Making sure he was squeaky clean had taken him more time that he had anticipated. Partially because of his nerves—he had to admit he wasn't fully composed and relaxed—and partially because he wasn't exactly used to doing it. Additionally, he'd rather have Eren touch him first, instead of himself, yet it's not like he would let Eren anywhere near his ass without ensuring it was absolutely clean both inside and outside, any stray hairs included.

 

He thanked whatever god out there that he wasn't naturally hairy like some men. Plus, he was glad for his own insistence on keeping his genital area mostly hair free, aside from the neatly trimmed hairs around the base of his cock.

 

Before finally leaving the bathroom, Levi looked at himself one last time in the sizeable mirror above the sink.

 

The dark circles under his eyes were there—more prominent than he had remembered. He looked more pasty than his natural pale, too. It was a bit discouraging. Maybe it sounded stupid and what some men would call feminine, but he would prefer to look his best at a moment like that. Now it was too late, though.

 

At least the rest of him presented itself better. His short height stopped being one of his insecurities long ago and he knew the way his body was built was an attractive sight. If somebody were to ask, he would admit he prided himself on his carefully maintained abs and deltoid muscles. True, if he were to look closer, they did seem slightly less pronounced after the treatment he has been giving himself the last two months, but not drastically. A bit less muscle weight wasn't going to kill him—he wasn't a body builder in any way, he just liked himself in good shape—when he wasn't overwhelmed with his job.

 

Finally, deciding he had spent more than enough time hidden in the bathroom, he took a deep breath and came out, finding himself in the bedroom, as the rooms were directly connected.

 

He was alone and he couldn't hear anything excluding the usual sounds of their apartment, which meant Eren haven't come back yet. Strange, because Levi was sure he had spent more than twenty minutes making himself physically—and mentally—ready.

 

Why was the brat taking so long? He had bought condoms and lube before. Hell, they had even went to a sex shop together twice. Embarrassment wouldn't stop him from purchasing what he was asked for. Did he forget what brands he should buy and couldn't make a decision? Or maybe... he knew Levi would need some time and privacy before they'd jump into bed together?

 

Eren could be surprisingly thoughtful...

 

It compelled Levi to look around the room and the bed. He had insinuated Eren would find him eager and ready on it... Should he keep true to his teasing words? Also, he could take care of the atmosphere more. Candles were a fire hazard, though, seeing as in their bedroom there was no surface to safely lit them. He could change the bedding and the sheets to something more appealing than the dull brown cotton. He could put on some cologne, as he didn't bother after the shower. On the practical side, tissues and maybe a towel would be useful...

 

He found many possibilities, but could decide on none and just stood there, halfway between the bathroom and the bed—probably looking a little bit lost. He still had his short, dark black robe on, gaze not focused on anything in particular, just looking into space.

 

That's how Eren had found him, the young man's warm voice startling him out of his reverie.

 

“Levi?” he called out questioningly.

 

Well, here passed his chance to greet Eren naked from the bed in a sexy pose.

 

He didn't really have anything insightful to say, hence, he opted for silence.

 

The younger man put the bag he was holding in one of his hands on the mattress and closed the distance between himself and Levi with a few steps, only to pull him closer by his robe-clad hips and lean down to nuzzle at the side of his neck, inhaling deeply.

 

“You've always looked sexy in that robe. And, you smell great. Did you use your 'special occasion' body wash for me, Levi?” he asked in a low voice, peppering kisses along the column of Levi's throat.

 

Levi let his head fall back for a moment, relishing the warmth of Eren's mouth.

 

How did Eren know after one look that trying to ask if something was wrong wouldn't help any of Levi's nerves was above him. The strong body against his was what he needed to feel to come back to his senses. It reassured him, even though the person it belonged to had been the initial cause of Levi's momentary lapse in reasoning.

 

He let his arms encircle Eren's waist and met his lover's gaze.

 

“Eren... take me to bed.”

 

Eren's eyes gleamed with emotions at his words. He kissed Levi sweetly and swiftly took his hand, guiding him onto the bed, telling him to make himself comfortable on the mattress, which Levi promptly did, simply laying down on his back in the middle, his upper body slightly elevated on his elbows, so that he could watch Eren as he moved around.

 

Before joining Levi, Eren got rid of his jeans and t-shirt, leaving on only his navy boxer briefs and Levi reflected on the fact that he would never get bored of admiring Eren's body. It was beautiful and Eren's fluid movements made him look sexier that Levi wanted to admit. Training those track teams sure came with benefits...

 

Soon, Eren was on the bed with him, legs on the sides of Levi's thighs, his mouth insistently seeking out Levi's lips.

 

The older man's body had a mind of its own, embracing Eren's shoulders, chasing the boy's tongue with his and inviting it to his mouth, sighing at its almost scorching hotness. He almost didn't notice the hands tugging at the knot of his robe to untie it—not until the slick material slid off his shoulders and to the sheet below him, exposing his nakedness to Eren.

 

It was nothing new. They had been naked in front of each other many times before. But never before has Eren looked at him with the look now present in his eyes—as if he wanted to eat Levi alive and make it as pleasurable as possible.

 

It caused Levi's breath to catch in his throat, heart pounding madly in his chest.

 

“Levi, tell me that you still want it.” Eren demanded, running his palms down Levi's sides in a delicate caress.

 

“I want _you_.” he responded with as much certainty as he could master, catching one of Eren's wandering hands and, just like Eren earlier that day, placed a kiss in its centre and guided it onto his heaving chest, letting Eren feel his wildly beating heart.

 

Eren's gaze only intensified and he took Levi's mouth in what had to be a hundredth kiss that day, pouring all of his desire and love for the older man into it. It literally took Levi's breath away, but he had little time to catch it, as Eren was already scraping his teeth over his neck and collarbones, painting a warm path to one of his nipples with his tongue. Eren's breath fanned over it, to be fast replaced with teasing bites that send shivers to Levi's crotch. If he was aroused, his nipples always became sensitive and Eren finally had time and explicit permission to make use of it.

 

The shorter man let out a loud hiss at a particularly harsh bite, clenching his fists in Eren's messy brown hair.

 

“Too rough?” the younger asked, looking up at Levi from his chest.

 

It wasn't. It definitely wasn't too rough, but Levi couldn't take much more of it. Eren focusing so much on one spot made Levi's mind completely clouded and he didn't want that. Not yet...

 

“Too much. Can you just... Just finger me.” Levi rasped out, not entirely believing he was really asking for something like that.

 

Too much teasing would only put him more on the edge—mentally more so than physically, which was probably more disturbing from the two. And while Eren's ministrations has gotten Levi half-hard, he didn't want to wait and see if it was going to just stay like that or would he get completely hard before going much farther.

 

Eren sat back between Levi's spread thighs at his comment, searching Levi's face for something—Levi had no idea what—additional confirmation aside from his words, certainty, desire?

 

Maybe he has found it, because he turned around—giving Levi a great view of his taut back—and soon was facing him back again, after having laid out the contents of the bag on the mattress, all close enough to reach.

 

Levi took a calming breath, eyeing the things Eren had bought—lube and condoms, but also tissues and what looked like a package of medical gloves.

 

God...

 

“Umm... I want you to be as comfortable as possible. I like it when you just use your fingers, but... I know you prefer everything as clean as possible... I've washed my hands thoroughly in the guest bathroom after coming back, though, and my fingernails are all short and even. Still, I thought maybe you'd rather I use gloves?” he asked in a serious manner.

 

The brat was thoughtful indeed. His consideration for Levi and his possible preferences made the older male even more positive doing it, while not easy, was the right decision.

 

“Thank you, but... This time, forget the gloves.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Okay. Then, tell me if you're too uncomfortable, or if something starts hurting. It really shouldn't...”

 

It was eerie, because he remembered telling similar things to Eren, but now it was directed at him... Was Eren also feeling like Levi? Anxious, but anticipating it all the same?

 

“I'm not made of glass. It's bound to be somewhat uncomfortable first. Don't worry too much. I trust you. I know you'll slow down or stop if I ask.”

 

“I will. And... Sorry. It's just... I'm actually a bit nervous myself. I really want to make it good for you.” Eren admitted, smiling sheepishly.

 

“Brat... It's not a competition. Not like I don't want for it to feel good, but if you get more nervous than me, then we won't go anywhere with this. You've had my fingers up your ass countless times by now. Don't do anything you wouldn't like and we're safe.” Levi argued.

 

For a strange reason, knowing about Eren's nervousness calmed Levi a bit. Probably because it meant it was important to them both and, in a way, they stood on the same ground—experiencing something new, hoping not to disappoint their partner.

 

Levi wanted to give himself to Eren. He needed him to know just how much Levi was able to change because of him—and that he actually enjoyed it. He might have wanted Eren more than ever in that moment.

 

“I want to stay on my back for this. I want to see you. And... I want _you_ to see my face when you take me.”

 

Eren's hands tightened on Levi's legs at hearing his wish, eyes instantly darkening with desire.

 

“I'll drink in every detail, so be ready.” he assured or warned, Levi wasn't sure.

 

Then Eren was leaning down again and kissing him passionately, letting their tongues slide against each other and withdrawing with a bite.

 

“Lift your hips for me.” he asked and Levi obeyed, finding himself with a pillow under his ass to lift it to a better position. “Now your legs, spread 'em farther apart if you can.” the shorter man did that too and Eren slid closer to him, letting Levi's thighs rest over his own.

 

In that particular position and with how the pillow had him elevated, the brat could see almost everything. Levi was completely exposed to him. It felt entirely different from being in similar position when he was simply getting a blow job.

 

Eren must have noticed his anxiety, because he leaned down to kiss the inside of Levi's right knee and then lower, the delicate inside of his thigh and lower still... Levi's already fast heartbeat sped up even more, but for completely different reasons.

 

“You look more than desirable like that... Beautiful. Just looking at you makes me hard.” Eren admitted openly and Levi groaned after noticing that, surely, there was a tell tale bulge in his lover's tight boxer briefs.

 

“Fuck! Just do it already, Yeager. Or we're going to spend the whole night talking instead of fucking.”

 

“We could always do both...” Eren pointed out cheekily, but with a hint of lust.

 

“Eren, won't you _please_ get on with it...?” Levi almost growled out, not caring that he sounded as if begging.

 

“How could I not after such an honest plea.” he murmured lowly and took the lube.

 

The sound of the cap being opened echoed in the bedroom.

 

That was it. Levi was going to get finger fucked by Eren and then... Levi would think about it when they actually passed the first stage.

 

He watched Eren coat his digits in the clear gel thoroughly, leaving a dollop of the substance at the pad of his index finger.

 

“Thankfully, the gel isn't that cold, so it shouldn't feel bad. And... I realize it's not easy, but... try to relax. Breathing evenly really helps, too. Just... nod your head when it's okay for me to go in, okay?” Eren asked.

 

Levi felt like a teenager all over again, having sex for the first time—uncertain of what it would feel like exactly.

 

“Okay.” he replied simply, immensely glad his voice was steady.

 

Eren's hand moved under his bottom, slightly spreading him, and Levi exhaled loudly. It was already strange and there were no fingers up his ass yet... But then, Eren's finger found itself between his buttocks and slowly circled around and then over his asshole, coating Levi with lube, massaging gently, though, not penetrating.

 

Any voice that Levi was about to make was caught in his throat at that first touch. It made him tense at first, but he willed himself to relax again. He wanted it. It was certainly not disgusting, or even unpleasant. Just different...

 

“Okay?” Eren inquired, searching Levi's gaze for any hints of discomfort.

 

“Okay.” he breathed out, letting one of his hands settle above Eren's hip, the other grasping at the sheets.

 

Once he established he indeed felt okay about what Eren was doing to him, he nodded his head—a sign for him to continue.

 

Eren's touch turned firmer as he applied more pressure with it and then his finger breached the initial barrier of the muscles there and slowly, steadily slipped inside Levi's body, until it was about half-way in, and the stopped.

 

Levi was glad for that time to adjust. He had to bit his lip to keep in what would probably be a horribly sounding squeak of surprise.

 

He could feel the slickness of the lube being inserted into him and it was probably more odd than the stretch of his muscles around Eren's finger inside him.

 

“Move.” he ordered when he relaxed around the intruder as much as he could.

 

Without comment, Eren did, letting his digit travel deeper and Levi could feel his muscles giving way to it. It was less uncomfortable that he had anticipated—it was a huge relief and made relaxing much easier.

 

But when he got used to the feeling of being stretched and full itself, Eren once again started a circular motion, just this time it was _inside_ of his ass and Eren's finger was caressing his inner walls and oh god... he had actually let the brat touch him inside, so intimately...

 

The groan that left his throat was louder that he though it would and he immediately closed his eyes in embarrassment—as if having Eren's finger up his ass wasn't embarrassing itself, in a way.

 

“Levi?”

 

“I can't believe I'm letting you do that, even when I can actually feel you touching me.” he managed to say, forcing himself to open his eyes and look at Eren again.

 

The boy smiled, but it wasn't his usual warm smile—it was more sexy.

 

“I can't fully believe you're letting me do that too, but... the way your insides feel around my finger—soft and hot, tight but willing to let me in—it makes it too real to make me think it's just a wishful dream. And I hope you want more, because I want to try making you pant my name out in pleasure...” Eren announced sultrily and without any conscious thought, Levi's insides tightened around the finger in his ass.

 

Both Levi and Eren groaned at the feeling.

 

“When have you learned to talk like that, Eren? Jesus... I fucking dare you to make it happen, brat!” he challenged.

 

Levi didn't suspect dominant, dirty talking Eren would have such an effect on him, but it was the most pleasant surprise. If he was letting Eren take him, he didn't want to do it half-heartedly. He was going let them both enjoy it. He wasn't going to run from the pleasure and showing it just because it seemed embarrassing. He wanted to embrace it all.

 

“You asked...” Eren smiled and shifted himself and Levi around slightly, so that one of his lover's legs was propped on his shoulder.

 

After that, the only thing Levi could focus himself on was the heat of Eren's finger inside him, as it started insistently rubbing and stretching him. The more he allowed himself to relax, the more pleasurable Eren's ministrations started feeling. Lube made it slick and easy and while it was rather strange and numb before, slowly Levi's body got more responsive, nerve endings waking up and making Levi bite his lip unconsciously, trying to get used to the change.

 

When Eren withdrew, a hiss left Levi's mouth and was soon followed by another when he came back with two lube coated fingers, repeating the motion from the beginning, caressing the outside of Levi's entrance and only then slowly and carefully pushing in—the stretch much more noticeable this time.

 

“Eren...” Levi whined, trying his best at breathing evenly, fingers biting into the skin on the boy's hip.

 

“Hurts?”

 

“No... Keep going. It's starting... It's starting to feel good.” he admitted.

 

It was true. The fullness became welcomed, accompanied by a sensation that was hard to describe even in his own mind—tingling? But it wasn't exactly it. It felt good, though, and that's all that mattered at that stage.

 

Was there even more to it?

 

After a moment Eren changed his tempo, speeding up a bit, fingers once more sinking deeper, but somehow... more with purpose?

 

And then Levi's whole body squirmed when pads of Eren's digits passed over a certain spot. It was brief, but made Levi gasp. It made him curious and hungry for more.

 

“Do that again...” he breathed out.

 

Eren held Levi's gaze and repeated his motion, using more pressure this time around, his touch lingering longer, and it was hard for Levi to keep eyes open at the unusual sensation that coursed through his body.

 

First he just couldn't decide if it was good or not, but Eren stayed glued to that spot and started massaging it with just the right amount of strength and fire started building up at the pit of Levi's stomach. Breathing evenly became a difficult task, his muscles started instinctively clenching around Eren's fingers and he could do little to stop his hips from suddenly trying to match Eren's rhythm as he added an in and out movement. His head fell to the side as he focused on the pleasure flooding him gradually.

 

“God, Levi... You look so hot right now... Does it feel good?” Eren asked, panting.

 

“Brat... Don't ask for the obvious.”

 

“I'm going to make it even better for you, Levi.” he said, determined, and did exactly that, suddenly his other hand cupping Levi's balls and rolling them gently, only to move to his cock and stroke it, making Levi realize how hard he has become at some point without even realizing it.

 

The moan that escaped him was louder than he normally allowed himself and he didn't give a fuck. It was too good to care. He left his inhibitions aside and was happy with it.

 

“Eren, I could... come like that. If you continue...” he left off, trembling lightly.

 

“You can if you want to... We can just finish it like that. I can easily come with stroking myself while watching you get off on fingering.” Eren assured in a low, lust filled voice.

 

And Levi knew the boy would have no ill-feelings if that would be how Levi decided to end their exploration that night. But the way it felt—so much better than expected—and how Eren looked at Levi, visibly hard in his underwear, solitary drops of sweat glistening on his tanned skin, the muscles in his hands tense while he stroked Levi and fingered him at the same time without asking for anything in return...

 

It all served to make Levi want Eren more. He wanted all of it. All of Eren.

 

“No. No... Eren... You made me feel more than ready, so now take responsibility and take me. Maybe you made me pant out your name in pleasure... but don't you want me to scream it out too?” Levi asked in a most sultry way he could, dropping his voice low, letting Eren hear and see his eagerness.

 

Eren's body tensed for a moment and then he let out a groan.

 

“I will. I will then...” he almost whispered, withdrawing his fingers out from Levi's ass, the man's muscles clenching around the sudden emptiness.

 

Eren slowly got rid of the last piece of clothing, chucking it somewhere onto the floor, freeing his hard cock. Levi kept looking with his mouth unconsciously open when the younger man slowly put a condom on it and coated it in lube, hissing at his own touch.

 

The picture was beyond arousing. He was too hypnotised to even get anxious again at the thought of it being possibly wider than the fingers that have stretched him moments before. All his doubts were forgotten, replaced with lust.

 

If Eren had noticed Levi look, he didn't comment on it, in favour of lubing Levi up more to make certain he was slick enough for the penetration.

 

Looking Levi in the eyes, he kept one of the man's legs on his shoulder and moved the other to rest around his waist. Levi managed to lift his pelvis to make it easier and had a fleeting thought about being glad they were both quite athletic and flexible. He was fast focused back on Eren when he positioned himself between Levi's buttocks, at his prepared entrance.

 

“Ready?”

 

“More than I had ever thought possible...” Levi confirmed and squeezed one of Eren's forearms in reassurance.

 

Eren nodded and the intensity of his gaze made Levi's cock throb. He couldn't wait any more.

 

And he didn't have to, because right then Eren shifted and Levi could feel increasing pressure at his entrance that made him bit his lower lip.

 

“Try not to clench... push lightly. It can help.” Eren breathed out, voice a bit strained.

 

Levi didn't try answering back, just nodded and willing to relax his muscles, took Eren's advice. Carefully, at an almost painfully slow pace, Eren's dick started sliding inside of Levi, stretching him.

 

There was the slightest burn to it, but no pain, and Levi kept focusing on even breathing. Then Eren stopped and their eyes met and it made the thundering in Levi's chest so much faster. There was so much affection in those cerulean eyes...

 

“I love you, Levi.” he confessed in a deep voice and Levi could only garb at Eren's back and try to get them closer still, only achieving to push Eren deeper inside himself, making them both gasp.

 

“I love you too, Eren. But now... please, fuck me like you mean it.”

 

“Levi...” Eren whined an umpteenth time that day, but thankfully didn't make Levi wait, his hips withdrawing slightly and coming back to push into Levi.

 

From then on it was an intense dance.

 

The initial burn of penetration was fast forgotten as Levi drank in all the sensations attacking his body: the feeling of being stretched full, the drag of Eren's hot hard length inside him, the friction of Eren's stomach against Levi's hard dick, the younger man's hands caressing the skin of his thighs... It all added up and got Levi's breaths out in heavy pants.

 

He had to fight to keep his eyes open. Levi wanted to kiss, but that would make it impossible to see Eren's passionate gaze, so he kept observing his lover as he took him, just like Eren was watching Levi.

 

Once the first shock and slight discomfort passed, Levi tried shifting his hips to keep up with Eren's thrusts, to be an active participant, to make them both feel hopefully better and better. It was insane, how into it he could become after such a short time, but he just couldn't stop himself from trying to get Eren deeper into him, to see Eren's irises widen in pleasure too.

 

To think a few days ago he haven't even considered letting Eren do it... to now be happily writhing underneath him.

 

He didn't regret it in the slightest.

 

Any possibility of that was far gone when the head of Eren's cock passed by that spot inside him and then dragged over it again and again... and while before it was good and the older man let out low gasps here and there, his voice grew louder suddenly, muscles tensing involuntarily, sparks of current running down into his toes, making him clench them.

 

Levi's breath grew faster still, just as his heartbeat. He could see the muscles of Eren's stomach shift with each of his thrusts and then he looked down his navel and even lower, where his dark pubic hair gave way to his dick now disappearing into Levi's ass and Jesus... the way actually seeing it spiked Levi's arousal should be illegal...

 

He couldn't distinguish anymore if it was more because of the actual physical sensation or the mental aspect of it all... It was all tightly bound together—a cocktail of pleasure. And he craved more and more with each passing second.

 

“Eren! Shit... So good!” he whined.

 

“Me too. You feel so good, Levi... I can't... much longer. I...” Eren shook his head and instead just took Levi's hard dick into his palm once more, running his thumb on the under side, twisting lightly just the right way.

 

Eren sped up his movements, Levi trying to keep up with him. With the little mind he had left, he clenched on Eren's withdrawing length and suddenly Eren tensed above him, mouth open in a silent scream, moving his hips once, twice and then Levi could actually feel Eren's cock spasm inside him when he came, tearing out a moan fromthe older male at the sensation.

 

After a moment, without giving Levi much time to react, Eren slid out of him, but then there were his fingers inside and it didn't take him much time to find Levi's prostate again and keep massaging it while jacking him off and Levi's thighs started trembling almost uncontrollably and then he was coming with a strained shout, Eren's name on his lips...

 

It took them some time to come down from their high. They were still both panting when Eren took his fingers out from Levi, this time for good, making him hiss at the over stimulation and feeling of emptiness, even more pronounced now and somewhat eerie, as his muscles still tried to clench on something that wasn't there.

 

Eren got rid of the condom and wiped his fingers and Levi's stomach with the tissues he bought, hesitating a bit, before cleaning the excess lube from between Levi's buttocks.

 

Had Levi more strength left to think, and react, he probably would have been rather mortified at having Eren do something like that, but as it was, with him still basking in the afterglow of the intense climax, he could hardly care...

 

He would have to take a thorough shower later either way. Not now, though. Definitely not. There was no possibility of him getting up in the next thirty or so minutes.

 

Levi could feel Eren shift around on the bed and next he has found himself resting half on the bed, half on Eren—his head on his lover's shoulder, hand thrown over his damp chest.

 

It was calming, relaxing.

 

The lay in silence for some time and Levi started getting drowsy, when Eren finally spoke.

 

“Do you feel okay? I hope I didn't overdo it...” he asked with obvious concern.

 

“Idiot... I told you I'm not made of glass. I'm perfectly fine. I feel so good, in fact, I don't even care about getting clean right now, even though we're both sweaty and smell of sex. I wouldn't concern myself if I were you...” Levi said lazily, drawing mindless patterns on Eren's skin with one of his fingers.

 

Eren found the energy to let out a hearty laugh at his comment.

 

“If you put it that way, I should certainly not... It... was good then?” he added after a moment.

 

Levi rolled his eyes, however, a part of him understood Eren's need to ask. Who didn't want to make sure they were able to please their partner? Especially if it was something new they have tried together just a moment ago.

 

“You fishing for compliments, brat? Weren't my reactions telling enough?” Levi inquired, because he was sure as hell he made more noise then ever before when having sex and those were mostly sounds of pleasure...

 

“Well... It's just that... It was so good for me, being inside you like that and I finished before you, so...” he trailed off.

 

God, that brat was infuriating sometimes. That eagerness to please Levi was hard to believe. He loved it.

 

“But you finished me off perfectly well, Eren. Does it matter that much if it was your dick or fingers when it made my eyes roll to the back of my head in pleasure? I don't really think so... Stop worrying over nothing.” he said, using the last bit of energy to lift himself up a bit and kiss the corner of Eren's mouth, noticing the light blush on Eren's cheeks in the process.

 

To think that kid was able to fuck him like that...

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Don't be sorry. You actually managed to get me hard and get me off. I should be thankful... I didn't realize being taken could feel so good and I'm glad we've tried it. Something to look forward to in the future... Still a lot to be explored. Though, hopefully, I will be able to reciprocate in kind now, seeing as my ridiculous ED didn't seem to be permanent. Also, I guess experiencing being fucked gave me some hints on how to make you feel even better when _I'm_ the one taking _you_. Something to look forward to on your account as well, don't you think?” Levi asked, actually smiling.

 

“Seems getting fucked gets you extremely talkative, Levi.” Eren argued teasingly, kissing Levi's temple in a loving manner. “And... I'm looking forward to everything that we'll get to do together, no matter who's on top or bottom, as long as it's with you...”

 

“Cheeky brat, trying to butter me up. Oh, and Eren?”

 

“Mhm?” he asked sleepily.

 

“Don't you dare tell Armin anything or you're going to die a slow and painful death...” Levi announced in the same happy tone.

 

“Huh?”

 

There was no way Hanji was getting any info about how right she actually was...


End file.
